Hey guys, what’s up? Today I have a special guest. We are sitting down and chatting with my one on one client and my very dear friend, Doreen Korba. She is a nervous system regulation coach and a trauma coach. You guys, she has been through a lot in her life. Therefore she has a lot of wisdom to help people get through their own nervous system issues, their own traumas. She just is honestly, to be quite frank, the coolest. 

So I am so happy to chat with her today. You guys are gonna get to hear us talk about the coaching industry, some of the biggest problems we have faced, some of the biggest aha-moments that we have had, what her life has been like coming through one on one coaching with me over the course of the last six months. So I really hope you enjoy this call. 

Now before we get to it, I have to announce this is the first time in a really long time that I have announced this, but I have some one on one coaching spots available. Here are some options. 

First and foremost, I have Voxer support. Okay, so if you’re looking for someone to come in. You’re not wanting a group program. You’re not wanting necessarily a mastermind. You really want to sit down with someone and hash out your business, the problems that you’re facing, the goals that you want, how to get past where you are. Now you just want to have someone to bounce ideas off of, someone who has created the results that you are looking for, then perk up. 

Voxer support, you can do two Mondays in a row for $2,000 or five Mondays in a row for $4,500. If you are not familiar with Voxer, Voxer is just, it’s like a walkie talkie app. So on Monday from 9:00 a.m. To 5:00 p.m. You have walkie talkie access to ask me questions so that I can walkie talkie you back with my answers. It is kind of like a quick acute one on one coaching access to me. 

Now if you want the real deal one on one coaching, you want something bigger than Voxer access, you want to sit down with me face to face for 60 to 90 minutes every other week, you want to like really tear apart your business, then I would go with the real one on one support. 

So this is $7,500 per month, or if you pay in full $45,000 for six months. I am taking on new clients right now again. I haven’t announced this in several months because I tend to keep my clients. But when your clients start making so much money that they’re selling their companies and they’re no longer entrepreneurs, all of a sudden you’ve got spaces open for one on one. 

So I’m very excited to see who is going to come into my space this year. I can’t wait for it. I hope you guys enjoy this episode. I hope I get to hear from you guys soon. I hope you guys are following along on Instagram @1beccapike. All in all I just want to say thank you for being such a support. Enjoy this free episode with Doreen Korba. This is episode number 112. I am your host Becca Pike, and it is time for your weekly dose of Hell Yes Coaching. Let’s go.

Hey, guys. I’m Becca Pike and welcome to The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast, the number one show for entrepreneurs looking to create their first six-figure year. If you’ve got the drive and you know how to hustle but you’re not sure where to channel your energy, we’ve got the answers. Let’s dive into today’s show.

Becca Pike: Hello, Doreen. How are you?

Doreen Korba: I’m so happy to be here and share all the goodness today.

Becca: I know how are you doing today? You feeling good?

Doreen: I feel really good. Yeah, just happy and calm and grounded and just in the best place I’ve been in a long time business wise.

Becca: I love that. That’s so good. Can you tell my audience a little bit about just who you are and what you do?

Doreen: Yeah, so my name is Doreen Korba. I’m a life coach that specializes in trauma and healing. I am a nervous system geek. I geek out on the nervous system online all of the time because in my own journey, it has been just the greatest awakening, learning about regulating and healing my nervous system. 

I’m a mommy of four. I have three kiddos: Earth side, one heaven side. I talks a lot about that trauma experience in my own work. We live in the Pacific Northwest, and we are really happy it’s summer.

Becca: Now is that what got you into trauma work the most, losing a child? 

Doreen: Yeah, I think… I mean even holding my sweet baby after she passed in the hospital, I knew the only path forward was a life of figuring out how the hell I was going to move forward, how I was going to survive this. I wasn’t sure I was going to. Then just making that my life’s mission and then figuring that out and helping every other person that wants to know how to do the same.

It doesn’t have to be the level of trauma like child lost. What I’ve learned, which has really opened my eyes, is that I had trauma before that that made my cup not so full. When life hit me, the recovery was extra hard based on my life experience before that time, which I had no idea about. I thought my life was perfect until that time.

Becca: You’re saying you had like kind of shoved it under the rug, and this really brought it to the surface.

Doreen: Well, I didn’t even know I had shoved it under the rug. 

Becca: Nobody knows. 

Doreen: No one knows. Like my parents had gotten divorced and my mind had healed, right. So what I’ve learned about trauma is the mind can’t heal the trauma in the body. So my mind had healed all of these different experiences in my life, but I hadn’t done the healing in my nervous system. So I was carrying it with me. 

Because they say time heals all wounds. That is only true in the mind. That is actually not true in the body. Just like you could be triggered out of the blue, and all of a sudden, you feel like that thing that happened 12 years ago just happened today. Right? That is because that lives in the body. So I am like, so freaking passionate about sharing that because I didn’t know. 

Becca: Yeah, yeah. I think that the book, The Body Keeps the Score, it is talked about a lot. It’s referenced a lot. If I’m being quite frank, I’m kind of over it. Because it’s like that seems to be the only book that people know about when it comes to your traumas living in your physical body and outside of your mind. There’s so many other books and other people that are doing this type of work. But I’m thankful to that book also because it has really opened up the eyes to a lot of people that had no idea that this happens, that this is a thing at all.

Doreen: Right. I mean, even my own parents, I tried to like explain it to them. They’re like so what? Are you having a nervous breakdown? Like what’s happening? I’m like no, the nervous system is not having – I’m not having nervous breakdown. Right. That paints the picture too of the way that I was raised around mental health. Like not very privy to mental health and what’s needed. I mean I went on to get a Master’s in Counseling probably because I knew I needed additional support. 

Becca: I mean, were any of us raised. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I was raised in the 80s and 90s. It was not – Nobody was asking me how I was.

Doreen: Totally. I actually talk to my clients a lot about that. In my own work, it felt disrespectful for me to look at my childhood and pick it apart because I love my parents so much. 

Becca: Yeah. 

Doreen: I feel like they gave everything they could.

Becca: Well, they didn’t know what they didn’t know. 

Doreen: Exactly, exactly. 

Becca: We’re doing the same shit. We just don’t know what it is yet. Our kids are gonna be like wait a minute, you used to let us drink tap water? Now we have figured out that it’s like the main reason for all the cancers. You just don’t know what you don’t know. Who knows what it’s gonna be by the time our kids grow up that we just had no clue that we were doing it.

Doreen: Exactly. I believe that everyone is giving their very best. I do believe that. So when I do this work with myself and with my clients, it’s like no. We can love the people in our lives unconditionally. We can know they did their very best and then there’s still things that we have to heal.

Becca: Yeah, by the way, I think it’s seed oils. I think that’s what it’s gonna be. Yes, I think, yes. I think all this research that’s coming out about seed oils, like all the oils that our shit’s all cooks in and our chips are fried in and stuff. Like there’s so much research coming out now about like how toxic it actually is to our bodies. It’s just barely being whispered about in the last five years. I think that’s what’s gonna be it. But anyway, that’s a side tangent.

Doreen: So anyone listening, you’re going to be ahead of the curve here if you give up your seed oils.

Becca: Yeah, get the fuck away from vegetable oils and seed oils. From this day forward butter, coconut oil, ghee, maybe cold pressed olive oil. Maybe. 

Doreen: Maybe.

Becca: Don’t heat it up too much. 

Doreen: Jury’s out.

Becca: Jury’s out. Okay, so what got you into coaching? Now, were you already a coach when you lost your daughter?

Doreen: No. So I was at the height of my corporate career, VP of global marketing at a global team. I worked in healthcare. I worked in mental health and health care. So I had always been a mental health advocate and been like really focused on just doing my part, but I had fallen into marketing. I figured out really early after college I was really good at it. It paid me a lot. 

So as the breadwinner in my family, it just kept growing and growing and growing knowing that my dad always said if you don’t want your boss’s job, you’re in the wrong job. I would look at the executives around me and then I became one, and I was like this shit is not for me. I had, by that time, had a baby and was not seeing him more than an hour and a half a day. It was at that time I said to my husband. I was like something’s got to give here because this is not the way I want to live my life. 

Becca: Yeah.

Doreen: I’ve already had my Master’s in counseling. So I already knew I wanted to sit with people, but I didn’t want to help them stay stuck. That’s not a knock to any therapist at all. My grief therapist is very near and dear to my heart. But what I was being taught was nothing about moving forward. It was all about rehashing the story and asking questions and holding space. That really only gets you so far. 

So at the height of my corporate career, after two years of IVF, we finally got pregnant, and we were expecting a very healthy, beautiful baby girl. She had a knot in her umbilical cord when I was 39 weeks pregnant, just two days before I was being induced, and she passed away within minutes. Then that changed everything. 

I often say I thought IVF was the hardest part of my life and my journey up until that point. Then when she died, it was like I just think there’s a special, it’s a special kind of trauma when you have a trauma at what was supposed to be the highest height point of joy. Then that’s all taken away. It’s like –

Becca: Right, it’s the expectation.

Doreen: Right.

Becca: Just being completely flipped.

Doreen: Having a baby is supposed to be the greatest thing in your life. Right. So then what happened was on my own journey, I went right into therapy. They made me go back to my corporate job because my baby had died. So even though I was still bleeding, they were like no, you need to come back. I was the breadwinner. 

Becca: Like you mean no maternity leave? Is that what you’re saying? 

Doreen: Yeah, they were like you don’t get your 12 weeks, even though it was unpaid. I was paying it for myself. The unpaid maternity leave. They were like no, we need you to come back or else.

Becca: Yeah. Fuck that. You just lost your daughter. Like isn’t there a grieve leave? Like. 

Doreen: No. They didn’t even send me flowers. Like they didn’t even, I mean, it was horrible. I knew at that point it was a matter of time, but I didn’t have the strength to make another change. I was just barely making it through the day.

Becca: I would have had burn that fucking building to the ground. That’s what I would have had the strength for. You’re not supposed to say stuff like that anymore.

Doreen: It was bad. Like, I would be in board meetings. They would set me up to look like I didn’t know what I was talking about just like right after my daughter had passed. There was a change in leadership, and they wanted me out. It was bad. They eventually let me go. 

Becca: You wanted out too. 

Doreen: Well, I wanted the money, but I desperately wanted out. But I didn’t know that at the time. Because I was like I just lost my daughter, and then I had just lost my job. I was like oh, I’m gonna lose my marriage. Is my other kid gonna die? What else is gonna go? It was very scary. 

So I said to my husband, I was like give me one month, and I will replace this income in consulting. I did. I did marketing consulting for four years as I went on to have another beautiful baby girl and then another beautiful baby girl, and I wanted all my emotional energy to go into building our family. 

During that time, as I was healing, I had had a life coach kind of walk into my life. I knew about life coaching, but I’d never experienced it. It was more money than I’d ever spent on myself. I hired him. He was a Tony Robbins coach. Very in your face and like totally different experience than what the kind of coaches I have now. 

Becca: My first coach ever was a Tony Robbins coach.

Doreen: Yeah, me too. Oh my God.

Becca: So fun.

Doreen: So fun. So fun. After our first session, I looked him dead in the eye and I said this is my dream job. I am going to do this. This is my life’s work. That was it. Then I’ve been a coach ever since.

Becca: You were new to the idea of life coaching all together?

Doreen: I knew about life coaching. I had been reading Wayne Dyer books in high school. I mean I had always been into mental health and growth and personal development at a very young age. Because all I knew was therapy, I didn’t know what it was that helps people move forward. But I was aware enough to say like oh, I need to try this. My life is still – I’m still struggling. Then a life coach led me to another life coach led me to a business coach led me to a trauma coach. It’s like I think I’ve had 10 coaches since then.

Becca: Now what year was that that you’ve had your first life coach?

Doreen: That was, that’s a great question. 2017.

Becca: So in 2017, you have this idea to become a life coach. When did you open your life coaching business? 2017?

Doreen: So, I was still very scared. I was pregnant, or I just was having my rainbow baby, which is your baby that’s born after you lose a baby. I knew that was the job, but I didn’t want to make any changes. I was like no, I need to stay focused. So it wasn’t until years later, until my last baby was born. So I’m on your four and a half of coaching all in. 

So I was being coached. I was like I’m like a sponge. I’m like you coach me. I’m not just taking your coaching. I’m watching literally how you move, what you say. Like I take it all in. I apply it, and then I save that, right? Like oh, I like this. I don’t like this. It’s like I knew how I wanted to go about it. Then right as I had my fourth child, I basically just opened my own coaching business when everyone else said it was crazy. I was like there’s no other option here. My husband was like are you oh my god.

Becca: Are you a true coach if your loved ones don’t think you’re a little weird? I mean everybody that I know that starts their coaching business, their family and their friends are like you’re what? The fuck are you talking about?

Doreen: Yes, yes. Yeah, I think some of my best friends still don’t know what I do. They have no clue.

Becca: Oh no, my dad has no idea. My dad literally still to this day. He’s like, so what? Like you build businesses with people? I’m like kinda. When I tell when I started getting into the nitty gritty of like actually how much money I make and actually how much time it takes and like how little I work. His 1957 baby boomer brain is blown. Like, they do not get it. 

But I remember when I first started, they were like. I remember telling them like I’m gonna be a business coach, and I’m going to help people with business. I remember them just being kinda like oh, that’s cute I guess. Like, that’s nice. Kind of weird. 

Doreen: Yeah. Yeah.

Becca: Now I’m like, you guys want me to pay you to travel you guys all over the world first class and live your best fucking life? Now they’re like I love life coaching.

Doreen: That’s amazing. That’s amazing. My parents had had to go through their own personal development journeys when they got divorced. So they were more familiar. To be honest, my dad has said since I was a little girl, you’re meant to be a life coach. I was like what’s that Daddy? They’re definitely my biggest fans and my biggest supporters.

My husband, on the other hand, is like I love you so much. I really hope that all your dreams come true, honey. I really hope we can get that house on the lake  and we can do all this stuff. I’m like oh, it’s happening. It’s definitely happening. 

Becca: I love that. So you found me about six months ago, and we started working together one on one. How do you find your coaches, me included? How do you know that you want to work with them? 

Doreen: So I found you three years ago, two years ago, actually. So that’s how I think of it. We were inside of a mastermind together where I was, it was a one and done mastermind experience for me. While I was in there, I wanted to meet the other women in there. You and I had had what they called a peer coaching session, which is literally just code for other people doing the coach’s job, right?

So you get on a call with your peers, and they coach you. Instead of just like coffee talk, it was like okay. So in this environment, I was supposed to come. If I scheduled the peer coaching, I was supposed to come with a list of things I wanted coaching on, and you bet I did. From that coaching, I ended up landing two of my favorite clients and made 30k from our coaching, you and me. 

Becca: Oh, that’s great. 

Doreen: Yeah. So I knew that you could get me results. Literally, this is the honest to God truth. I knew that you could get me results. So then fast forward to six months ago, I had taken a break from coaching in masterminds and hadn’t had like a one on one business coach. I had a one on one trauma coach for two straight years, really dedicated to that work. Like that was really the focus because I was going deep on this.

In that time, I got certified in the nervous system and in trauma. It was a year-long certification. But then what happened is I took that certification, thinking I want to just know all of this from my own healing. At the time, I was a business coach. Then I was like I’m not a business coach. I need to take what I’ve learned here in my own healing, and this is it for me. I have to do this work.

So I knew I needed a coach. I had tried to figure out how to make that transition from like a really successful multi-six figure business coaching business to trauma coaching. I was even afraid to use the word trauma because I was like oh, this is all very scary. 

So I tried to do it on my own for a few months. Then in January, I was like I just decided that I was going to make a half a million dollars this year. I knew I needed someone to help me do that because I couldn’t figure out how to message it. It’s like I had business coaching nailed, but I didn’t have this other love of my life, the content nailed. I couldn’t figure out how to reach people. I basically had to start over.

I knew you could get me results. I didn’t follow you on Instagram. I mean I was friends with you, but it wasn’t like you were popping up. I just knew. So I reached out to you. I was like okay, so what do you have going on right now? That was it. 

That’s kind of how I roll too. It’s like I’m very aware of what I need. When I need something, or what I desire. I don’t even have to like need it. I could have gone the rest of my life without coaching with you. I just didn’t want to. I decided this was what I needed. Then I reached out to you. It was like we started working together one on one like a week later.

Becca: I love that. I’ve always believed that people are self-lead. People are smart. People know when they need coaching. You don’t have to hold people’s hand trying to get them to like work with you. They just come when they’re ready. If you keep putting out good information, like as a coach, you keep putting yourself out there maybe through your podcast, or maybe through peer coaching with people or whatever. They always come back around if you leave a big enough imprint on them. 

So like it’s funny that you said that you don’t even follow me on social media. So here we are. I coached you, what, two years ago, and then you’re not following me on social media. But there was enough of an impact that you remembered and you reached out to me when you were ready. 

I think there’s too many coaches out there thinking that they have to convince people to come into their container. So they have to really hold their hands to get them in. It’s like no, your people are out there. They want to work with you. They’re excited to work with you. Maybe they’re saving their money, maybe they’re whatever. But whenever they are ready, they will know it full body, and they will come, and they will come quick. By the time you contacted me, I was like yeah, it’s $6,000 a month or whatever. You’re like cool, send the paperwork. Let’s go. We started that week. It was awesome.

Doreen: My nervous system is regulated enough now to like I, the second someone tries to convince me, I’m out because I’m my own boss. Like, I don’t need someone else to be my boss. I’m an entrepreneur through and through, right. That’s the kind of people I think that you attract is like I gonna come when I’m ready, and I’m gonna pay all the money, even though you’re probably three times, maybe six times, the price that you would have been two years ago. It’s not about that. Right? It’s about my readiness meeting all you’ve learned, right? 

Becca: Dude, two years ago, it was I think $7,500 for six months to work with me. Now it’s $7,500 a month every month for six months to work with me. So it is 6x. So if anybody’s listening that wants to work with me, you better fucking do it because who knows. In two years from now, I’m gonna be like it’s $2 million to look at me. You want to look at me? $2 million. That’s what I’m feeling.

Oh, my God. People are gonna listen to that be like what a bitch. For real. It’s like I don’t know. Something has happened over the years. When you start getting people the crazy results, and you start charging the money that you actually want to charge, the most empowering thing on the planet.

Doreen: I’ll say, and I said this to you, it was the most amount of money I had spent in one go round. I loved that for me. Because that showed me how dedicated I was. You’ve said this to me, and I keep this close to my heart. This is my life’s work. I now know too much. I can’t, there is no other alternative than to make this work. This is my life’s work. I am living my purpose. So when you double down on that, it shows me my dedication to myself too. I carry that.

Becca: Like, this isn’t a race. This is what you’re doing for the rest of time. We’re not pushing ourselves to get anywhere in the next 20 days, the next 30 days. We want to always be challenging ourselves. But like if this is truly what you’re going to do for the rest of your life, why are you all out sprinting? Right? What’s funny is when we stop the sprint is when people start surrounding us and getting curious.

So what have been some of the biggest, like I have my own ideas for the answer to this, but I want to hear your answer. What have been some of the biggest struggles that you have made traction on or that you have healed since six months ago?

Doreen: A lot of things. But the biggest thing at first that I couldn’t wrap my head around was how to talk about this in a way, because basically, I’m trying to describe and educate people on the nervous system, but people don’t know what that means. 

So really, you talk about this a lot. It’s like a funnel. So I was up here in the land of like talking about the things that make sense to me. But for my audience, I needed it to be really super specific. I wasn’t doing that. It hurt my brain at first to try to get more specific. Also there’s all kinds of different areas of trauma that I could have focused on. So I needed help figuring out what was best for me. 

Being specific about few things instead of all of the things. So this is probably everyone listening wants to help all of the people because that’s how I am, I want to help all of the people, right? Like, it’s not really my job to help all the people. It’s my job to help the people in the areas that also feel best for me. 

So really unwinding what that was like and practicing and practicing and practicing and practicing and then it working was amazing. Knowing it would work and trusting you. Like I paid you the money. So I’m just going to trust and trust and trust, even though my brain wanted to fight me on it because it was hard.

Becca: Yeah, well I know, it’s funny. When you start working with people that know what the hell they’re doing. Like you came in, you know what you’re doing. You know trauma. You know how to coach people, right? Now it’s just tweaking small things. Tweaking the Instagram, tweaking the message. 

What message are you sending out? What is that creating from your audience? Is it creating an urgency to buy? Or is it creating a feeling of oh, I’ll just do this work another time. Right, like really understanding how to message. So that was on my list as well. That you really honed in how to talk about working with you.

Doreen: Yeah, and I still am. It’s still a work in progress as I think it will be as people become more educated also. Because part of what I want to do is educate and then the other part is also make everyone feel seen because I would have loved to have felt seen earlier in my journey. I remember when I did start to feel like oh my god, how do they know that that’s going on inside of me when I’m not even verbalizing that? Like, that’s the type of response I want people to have by visiting my Instagram. 

We worked a lot on Instagram. So that’s number two is playing the Instagram game. Figuring out even like how I’m supposed to display the content and where I’m supposed to sell in stories versus in the main page. Like all of that. There was a lot there that I didn’t know that was very tactical, and I loved that. Because I’m like let’s get down to business. 

Like I have this body of knowledge. I don’t think that there’s anyone better on the planet than me, right? You have to think that about yourself if you’re a coach, or else you’re never gonna sell anything. How do I then sell it and have it sell? That has been a lot of fun.

Becca: You know what else I have loved watching you go through is you seem more relaxed in the way that you present yourself, the way that you spend time with your family. The way that you are not tied to your desk from sunup to sundown just because you’re supposed to be. Like corporate world has put it in you to be behind the desk from nine to five, whatever. Like.

Doreen: That was my number two that I wrote down on my list is you yelled at me, in a very loving way. You didn’t actually yell, but you were like you are not allowed to be behind your desk. I needed this. Like I needed you to be really direct. You’re not allowed to be behind your desk unless you’re recording a podcast or on a session with a client. I still take one on one clients. I have a pretty full practice of them. So that was it. 

You were like that I want you out. I want you out living your life. I don’t care where you write your content. You’re not allowed to be behind your desk. I was like oh, but it was like I needed the direction because anyone that has been in a corporate environment can relate. I was raised in that environment. It trickles back even though I know better. Right? I know better. It trickles back in. 

So I 100% didn’t mindset my way into being more relaxed. I genuinely feel an embodied, more relaxed version of myself, which is very. We never once did we sit, because I don’t think we need to, but never once did we say okay so now I want you to think these things so that you can go be relaxed. Like this is a much higher level coaching than that. 

Becca: Yeah. So, good. It’s been fun to just watching the evolution. I’m so proud of you for showing up to this interview in a tank top. 

Doreen: I’m literally sweating from the gym. I did ask you beforehand. I was like is it okay if I come from the gym? Because like that’s my scheduled time to go. You were like yes. It’s gives me such permission. 

Becca: But I’m watching the corporate rules melt off of you, right. Because the first several sessions that we had together, I showed up looking like a fucking hood rat. You showed up beautiful and put together and behind your desk. You had been sitting there all day. I’m not saying that that’s bad, but I could tell how it was weighing on you. I can tell that you were wanting to be with your family, but you felt like you were supposed to be behind your desk. 

Or you would be behind your desk, but not really doing anything because there wasn’t anything to do. It was all done. But because you had the clock in, clock out mentality, you felt like you needed to stay put, and you needed to find something to do. When you’re trying to find something to do, all of a sudden you’re spinning, you don’t really know what to do. 

Then when we’re spinning, and we’re trying to find something to do we feel down on ourselves because we should know what we’re supposed to be doing. Other coaches are doing stuff all day. What are we doing? What are we not doing? All of that is just complete bullshit, right?

I’m behind my desk to record podcasts and to do like one on one sessions like this. Other than that, completely living my life completely wherever I want to be. I feel like that is just a big fuck you to the corporate world, which is exactly what I want. Because I want to live a life that feels really good and feels like me and doesn’t feel like I have a boss. But also, it’s where the creativity flows the most.

Doreen: There is another thing as you’re saying that that was a really big thing that I want to mention when I was thinking about hiring, well, my thinking was about in 24 hours when I was like ready to hire a business coach is I wanted a mom, and I wanted a mom of many. 

Becca: You said to me one time, you said yeah I hired you. You’re like I am damn tired of these 20 year old business coaches telling me how to run my business. They’ve never even pushed a kid out of their vagina or something. You said something, and it was so funny. I was like God, amen.

Doreen: Yeah, I’m over it. I’m over people making millions of dollars and then having children and being like, I just cannot.

Becca: Then they’re surprised. I’ve watched it so many times. I’ve watched coaches that are like I make a million dollars a month, and I live the life I want. Then they go and they have their first kid, and they’re like guys, this is really hard. Like how do you. 

Doreen: I’m like trying having three more. 

Becca: Yeah. I remember we had a mentor once, you and I. She would get asked coaching on like having kids. I remember her just being like you’ve just gotta manage your mind. You’ve just got to relax, and your business will do well. I’m like this bitch has not been puked on today. The nanny didn’t call in like. She does not have a kid on her hip.

Doreen: No clue, no clue. Literally no clue. I remember being in the corporate world and being able to grind all day and then having the night to relax, the weekends to recuperate. When you have children, you do not have that. So I could not. I made a vow to myself I’m never hiring another coach that’s not a mother of many. I’m not on. 

That was really important to me. You may not talk about your kids 24/7, but I know your kids and your husband are the most important things to you. I needed that. I needed someone to model for me and with me what it was like to have these small babies and build this big business. I’m not having it. 

It’s no knock. If you’re listening to this and you don’t have children, it has nothing to do with that being a wrong choice at all. It’s just for me, I needed a home base where I could come and say the freaking nanny did not show up today. Literally, I’ve got my kid on the phone next to me, and we’re having this session. Like I needed someone who was like yeah, this is life.

Becca: Yeah. Yeah. I really felt like I could grow Hell Yes Coaching teaching women. It’s funny you say this because this was literally the whole idea. I remember telling my husband I want to show women that they can become millionaires in their pajamas. They can become millionaires making pancakes with their kids on a Wednesday morning. They don’t have to be flying around in a corporate suit. They don’t have to be in three inch heels at a penthouse in downtown Chicago. 

They can be at their homes. They can be raising babies, making hellacious money, and doing it while also having a baby monitor on their desk and making sure their kids are cool, you know? So yeah, we have you been through it. 

In fact, looking back now, I keep my personal life pretty private. You don’t see a lot of my kids or my husband on social media. I really like that because I spent years really making it public. Just in the last year, I have totally changed my role. I kind of really enjoy the fact that nobody gets to see my private life.

Doreen: I’m moving in that direction too. Now that my kids are getting a little bit older, I want them to have their own privacy. I know that people, and you’ve said that to me too. Like the people that are commenting and liking your posts of your kids or whatever are family and friends. You need to be focused on your clients, right?

It’s like there’s just such a huge part of my why. But again, it’s like those things. It’s like had you not been a mother who has gone through that, you wouldn’t have been able to have that conversation with me. Right? So I think it’s, for me, it was very important. 

Becca: Yeah, I completely agree. Okay, what has been your biggest struggle as a coach? Have you overcome it yet? Yeah, I think I’m gonna end there. That’s my question.

Doreen: My biggest struggle as a coach is, actually now I’ve changed directions. I never thought I’d have to feel like I was starting over. I’m not starting over. Clients, I think I shared with you. I have like a 90% return rate on clients. When clients come in, they love it, right? It’s just having people understand this body of work, the importance of it, and then wanting to invest their hard earned money in it. Really sharing with people the value and how it’s going to change their lives. Like that is my biggest struggle. 

Because when I was selling life and business coaching, that was easy to sell. I came from the business world. That was easier for me until it wasn’t. Then I was like oh, then I was out of alignment with my own integrity, right? I was like oh, I’m doing this, and I’m making great money. But what I really want to do is this. 

So trusting that I could make this work, that I could do what I loved, that I could also I have no rules around my client engagements. I mean I have general rules, but if someone comes to me and needs to, I don’t know, switch up their contract and go every other week because it’s too much. Or maybe it’s every other week, and they need to come every week because they need more. I mean I’m just very in service to my clients and their nervous systems and what they need. 

So unwinding all those rules, having it be harder than I expected it to be, and not thinking that that was the case has been really hard. It’s one of the reasons that I needed the one on one coaching. Because I could have gone into the mastermind, and I still want to, but at that point I needed all of your attention. I felt like it was like I need all of your attention. I told you that. 

Now I’m in a different place where it’s like I felt like okay, I have made. I mean I think I shared with you, I went six months without signing a brand new client. I was resigning current clients, but six months. I showed up every freaking day. Like I was going on Oprah talking about pitching my own show about the nervous system. I was dedicated. To consistently have your own back like that when there’s no results coming in, you do wonder. Is there something wrong with me? Is this meant for me? Then it all sort of come in all at once. That was like whoa. Like holding that belief in myself. 

Becca: I’m always asking my clients, you know this. You’ve been on the receiving end of this probably 1,000 times, but like who are you when no one’s signing? Because anybody can be pumped up. Anybody can be creative when you’ve got clients just flying in, when you’re signing biggest contracts. Anyone can feel good. Anyone can make content from that place. 

But who are you when no one’s signing? Who are you when it’s complete crickets? Are you a sad, unmotivated coach that thinks no one likes them? Or are you showing up like you’re on Oprah every single day. As if everybody is signing with you, as if everything is going right, as if you are leading your very best life? Because I’ll tell you, it comes out with two very different results at the end of the day.

Doreen: Yeah because there were many times where I could have just gone back to business coaching. I could have. I absolutely could have. I love business coaching. There’s nothing wrong with business coaching, right? Like I hired you as a business coach. 

It’s just for me and my true love, it was like okay. Here we go. What’s this gonna look like? I’m happy to say we’re through those six months, and now welcoming lots of new, brand new. One of my goals for myself was to because I was stuck in this world of our old mentor, and I was like oh, I need to break out. I need different energy. 

My personal goal was someone that I didn’t know from Instagram join me. Which meant my Instagram was working. To me, that was the result. That happened. I remember messaging you and being like oh my gosh. It happened. This is so exciting. Just that holding that belief.

Becca: Isn’t that the best? It’s always fun when you get your first client. Then it’s really fun when you get a client that comes from a referral. Like it’s someone that you didn’t directly talk to. That’s a big milestone. Then I think the biggest milestone is getting a client from somewhere that you – There was no referral. They’re just a complete stranger. 

They just found you somehow. They found your Instagram, maybe your podcasts, whatever, and they sign on. I think those are the most juicy, delicious milestones ever. Then there’s like the client that signs on while you’re sleeping at night. That didn’t need a consult. That’s a milestone also. 

Doreen: The best.

Becca: You just wake up, and you’ve got new clients. People you’ve never heard of. Gosh I can, it’s so tangible. I can just remember. It was two years ago that that happened to me, all those milestones, but I still feel it through and through how fun that is.

Doreen: Yeah. What do you think my biggest challenge was? 

Becca: I would say your messaging and consistency in your messaging. So I would say probably the shiny red ball syndrome of wanting to change your messaging and wanting to try different things without giving them enough time. So that’s why we worked on micro dosing and being very specific, and you’re going to write content every single day. 

You’re going to really get to know what you’re saying and who you’re bringing in. But I’ve seen drastic changes in that as well. That’s why you’re signing new clients and signing random clients and people that you’ve never met before because of this work. 

Doreen: Absolutely. 

Becca: I’m just really proud of you for that. 

Doreen: Thank you.

Becca: You have shown up as such an awesome student. I have students that if you’re looking at it on a spectrum, let’s say the not so ideal students are the ones that pay money, and they want that transaction of paying me the money to be the thing that gets their business working. They’re like if I pay this money, she’ll fix it.

Then on the other end of the spectrum are the Doreen Korba’s. They’re like I’m gonna pay this money. I’m gonna listen to every word that comes out of her mouth. I’m going to do every single thing that she says, and I’m going to show up with a smile on my face and ready to listen. I’m going to take the hard coaching. I’m gonna take the easy coaching. I’m gonna take everything she says to heart. The way that you showed up is the reason that you got as many results as you got in our first six months together.

Doreen: Right. This is not our last six months. I mean this is the beginning of a friendship, a relationship, a mentorship. I know that. So it’s clear too like I’m playing the long game. There’s some real change. It’s not just we implemented the things right away, but then the audience has to react to that. So there is, especially when you’re on Instagram, like there is some time that needs to pass in order for people to understand what you’re all about online. 

Becca: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. 

Doreen: So that’s happened.

Becca: I love that. Okay. Is there any advice, this is my last question. Any advice that you would give to new coaches or coaches that are feeling stuck? Just anyone in your industry that is wanting to grow. What would you tell them?

Doreen: The thing that has always worked for me is to double down, no matter what the financial landscape looks like, and this is where my husband thinks I’m crazy. But for me, in my business, it is even when I don’t have the proof. If I feel as though, if my gut tells me this is it, I go all in with the people that I choose to have in my inner circle. 

So for you, that was still my trauma coach. That was you and some of my peers that we coach with and just double down and going all in on the growth, and then sticking with it. Just really not giving up even when you want to. I always think this about entrepreneurship. I think entrepreneurship is a game of just not giving up. If you just don’t give up, it will work.

Becca: I was talking to Simone, and she messaged me. It was like two nights ago. We started talking about how hard it is. We specifically were talking about people that decide that they don’t like us for no reason because we show up on Instagram, and they get triggered, and they have these feelings about us. They don’t really know us, but some of them make groups about us and talking about how terrible people we are. We’re money hungry and all that stuff. 

We were kind of laughing about it, but also kind of like this is a weird part of coaching. Like nobody really does this with any other industry. But because we’re putting ourselves out there, and we’re telling people like what has worked for us in our business and in our life. We are putting ourselves on some sort of weird pedestal and then people can throw stones. 

We’re talking about just like how often a normal person would have quit in my shoes and in hers, right? I was just thinking back to like there are the tiniest things that would have set most people off. I’m never going to be a coach again. This is too much. This is too hard. It takes this resilience, and it doesn’t mean that you have to be so thick skinned that things don’t hurt you. 

The truth is it all hurts. I have been spit on and talked about and gossiped about and yelled at. There have been cliques of people that think that I’m a terrible person, especially in the massage world. The massage world here in Kentucky, it’s romanticized to be broke and to be struggling and to be artsy and to only sell a few massages a week so that you can really hone your craft. 

Then, to them, they think I’ve created this like Globo gym of massage. They think that I’ve created this like factory style massage place. So there’s a lot of people in Lexington, including my past mentor who I used to look up to like crazy, that all just talk shit about me. I was telling Simone. I was just like I have been through the fucking wringer. This is why I’m successful because I’m still here.

Doreen: Yep. 

Becca: Period. I just kept going. It hurts, and blinders on, and go.

Doreen: The reason people stop is literally because their nervous system’s like you have a level of nervous system regulation, and so does Simone right, to help you navigate. Because these are very real. Generation upon generation, as women, we do not want to be on the outside of the group. This is very real to our archaic nervous systems, right. 

So this is why I’m so passionate about the work that I do is because so many people wouldn’t give up if they just knew what in the past they needed to heal so that they didn’t get so triggered that they could continue for it. They could feel the pain but continue forward because we need more women making tons of money and showing other women how to do it. We need this. Mommies need this. People need this. So thank God. I’m always so grateful for every single person that doesn’t give up that I get to learn from.

Becca: Yes. Isn’t that the best? Every little thing that you go through makes you a little sharper. It makes you a little tougher. Puts your calluses on a little bit harder. So now, there’s things that happened today that would have sent me over the edge five years ago, but now it’s just like another day. You know what I mean? Another day, another problem. Another day, another dollar. I think we’re only given what we can handle. So as my skin gets thicker, my problems seem to get bigger. But it’s like, that’s okay because my skin is thicker.

Doreen: But so does your business. 

Becca: Exactly. 

Doreen: Yeah, yeah.

Becca: Thank you so much for coming on. Can you please tell my audience where they can find you and how they can work with you?

Doreen: Yes, so I’ll spell my last name because on Instagram, I’m @DoreenKorba. On my website is doreenkorba.com. On Facebook, I’m just under Doreen Korba. If you did listen to this and you have experienced the loss of a baby, I do have a podcast specifically for you. We also have a nonprofit that helps grieving families, and that’s called Healing After Baby Loss, and it’s everything I wish I would have known eight years ago when I lost my baby and hopefully is a guide for you if you’re listening to this and want that resource.

Becca: I love that so much. Thank you so much for coming on. I’ll chat with you soon.

Doreen: Okay, thank you.

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