Hey guys, welcome to episode 114. This is the continuation of last week’s episode with my husband Mark Pike. All right, I’m your host, Becca Pike, and it is time for your weekly dose of Hell Yes Coaching. Let’s go. 

Hey, guys. I’m Becca Pike and welcome to The Hell Yes Entrepreneur podcast, the number one show for entrepreneurs looking to create their first six-figure year. If you’ve got the drive and you know how to hustle but you’re not sure where to channel your energy, we’ve got the answers. Let’s dive into today’s show.

Becca: When I, what, 10/15 years ago, like Section Eight housing and WIC and food stamps, I was pulling $20,000 a year from the community. I was pulling money away. 

Mark: Oh, sure.

Becca: Yeah. Did you know that I did some calculations, and it appears that we are going to be putting in about $1.4 million into payroll into Lexington in the year of 2023. 

Mark: Sure, I believe that completely. 

Becca: So I went from withdrawing $20,000 from Lexington to putting $1.4 million in.

Mark: Right. 

Becca: It’s like, that’s the fucking shit. That is amazing.

Mark: Right, I agree. That’s a great feeling.

Becca: We are giving to our community because we are driven for money, because we are driven for growth, because we are driven for business. The economy of small towns and big cities has been a hanging on the backbones of like super driven entrepreneurs since the dawn of time.

Mark: The other day I was listening to Elon Musk talk about, some interviewer was asking him about his philanthropy. I think the interviewer was trying to say give him shit because he didn’t do enough philanthropy is what was happening. Elon Musk basically replied that, “I’m building electric cars for the world. I’m trying to get the world onto another planet. I’m doing these things.” He’s like, “This is my philanthropy. My work is my philanthropy.” I resonate with that so much because I’m just a big believer in being a part of businesses that are providing something to the community and helping people in some way. 

That is the reality for most businesses is that they really are a form of philanthropy when you get down to it because they are helping people. My life would be a lot harder if I couldn’t go to the grocery store to buy my goods. I’m so grateful that someone’s taking the time and the energy to put all that together. I’m glad that they make some money whenever I go and shop at their store.

Becca: Yeah, and I think that we’ve had this conversation in the past, which is we had an opportunity. There’s this little corner, like a shopping area, and it’s in a like a wealthier part of Lexington. We are butted up against a dry county. So that means there’s no alcohol sold. Welcome to the Bible Belt guys. So like there’s counties where you can’t buy alcohol. You have to bootleg it like it’s fucking 1931. 

So we’re in this perfect spot and opportunity to open a liquor store. There’s the shopping center. There’s this corner store that has a drive thru that would be like the most amazing place to have a liquor store ever. There’s not another liquor store around for like miles. We had an opportunity to open a liquor store there, and it would have been crazy profitable. We would have made so much fucking money. 

But when it came down to it, we were like we don’t want to be liquor store owners. We don’t want to provide liquor. I mean, we love liquor. We do it recreationally, but not everybody does it recreationally. Like we’re not going to be the people that are just selling this.

Mark: Yeah, it wasn’t a product I could say this is good for people.

Becca: Then three months later, a liquor store went in, and we frequent it.

Mark: Yeah. Oh, it’s great, I’m so glad someone built a liquor store. 

Becca: I’m so glad they did it, but it’s not us. 

Mark: No.

Becca: It’s not us. 

Mark: No, but yeah, it’s very true. So anyway, I think that it’s interesting things to think about that side of things. So whenever you are coaching, is there a specific type of client or a specific type of person that you prefer to work with or enjoy working with as opposed to another? Maybe you leave out the ones you don’t want to work with. More focus on the people you do enjoy? What is it that you love about coaching someone?

Becca: I really enjoy coaching, very self-responsible, self-led people. So in the beginning, I remember it felt like I was kind of introducing people to what business coaching is. Because when you start working with business owners who haven’t made much money at all, they’re just getting started. They usually aren’t super familiar with mentorship. That usually comes at a higher end, a higher place in life. Someone that is making closer to $200,000, $300,000, they start seeking out mentorship. But the people that are just getting started, not usually. 

So when I first started, that was a lot of who I was working with. I felt like I had to introduce them to it. So they weren’t bought in. It kind of felt like I was dragging them into it in some way. I would tell them about it, and then they would want to, but then they were scared. Then they would pull back, and then they would call me back. They would want it and then they wouldn’t want it. 

It was like a lot of them were great students and great clients. But now if I have the choice, I am 100% only going for the person that is seeking it out, knows exactly what it is. They’re self-led, and they don’t assume that it’s the container’s responsibility to get them their results. So like my mastermind has shifted a ton over the years. I used to let in anyone that made the minimum requirement of $50,000. If you’ve made $50,000, you can basically be let in unless you have some sort of weird red flag. 

Now it’s like you have to make the $50,000. You can’t have red flags, of course, but also on top of that, you have to be someone that is like I already know that I’m going to do well. I already know that I’m going to be successful. I just want support along with it. I just want to surround myself with people that are doing it too. I just want to have fun in this mastermind container. I just want to learn from someone.

Instead of this better work, I’m spending my money. Do you know if I’m gonna make my money back? I have to make my money back. Really white knuckling and terrified. So to me, that is just a very self-led person. Someone that knows that they are going for it already, and they just want support on the side. 

It makes for such a great culture in the mastermind too because they’re not like counting every dollar that comes in and holding it against the mastermind. You know what I mean? They’re just in there having fun making money and making progress. 

Mark: Yeah, they’re not blaming others. They’re not going into that victim mentality of blaming others.

Becca: Yeah, the victim mentality is such a hard one for me to get my head around. I’ve totally been there. I’ve fallen into victim mentality numerous times in my life. But I would say I’m on a trajectory away from it. Every year that goes by I take more self-responsibility. What happens is it makes everything, you’re like so much more aware of it when you stop doing it.

Mark: Yes, absolutely. Is victim mentality, is that like a cliche term at this point? What does that actually mean?

Becca: Like in the coaching world what I see the most is the algorithms are against me. I’m never gonna be able to get Instagram. Instagram just doesn’t like me. My audience just doesn’t get it. My coach didn’t do it for me. I spent all this money, and it didn’t work. Just like the world’s against me bullshit. 

It’s like yeah the world is fucking hard. Get up and keep going. You’re gonna get knocked down so much. You’ve got to just wake up and keep going every day. It’s not the world’s responsibility. It’s not the algorithms. If you’re not being pushed out into Instagram world and people aren’t seeing your stuff, go learn how to make better content. Go learn how to figure it out. Figure out what it is. Go try A/B testing. Go try the same post, but with a different hook, a different color. Like, if your coach didn’t do it for you.

You’re the king of this, right? You have had coaches that as soon as you get in, you’re like uh-oh. I don’t know if this coach was right for me, but you’re already invested and you’re already there. So you’re gonna make the best of it. You are going to be the best student in there. You are going to make your money back, and you’re gonna make it worth it.

Mark: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I definitely believe that whenever I’m working with someone as a student or as a client that it’s my responsibility to get the most out of that coach or program as I can. So it’s more like they’re the cow. I’m the farmer. It’s my job to get the milk. Not the cow’s job. They already made the milk. My job to get it. 

Becca: Well, I think that victimhood is like an acute solution. It’s a very short term, acute solution. Because think about it, let’s broaden out and look at this from a helicopter view. If you’re a business owner, and you are a victim, and you’re acting like a victim, that might let you off the hook for whatever little thing it is that you’re trying to get through. Like, okay, the algorithms don’t like me. Okay, well, that’s a great solution for today. 

You’re not going to become a multimillionaire with that type of mindset. Like in the big picture of things, you’re not going to get very far in that little box of yours. Right? But the people that are willing to break out of victimhood and say I own everything that I do. I own every result that I have. I own every purchase that I’ve ever made. I own every mistake that I’ve ever had. I am pushing through and going to make my life super successful. Like that is where success comes from.

Victim mentality is such a band aid and such a showstopper. Like you’re going to be stuck there for a long time if you keep that mindset. You’re going to be stuck in however successful you are right now.

Mark: Right. Yeah, I don’t know what the technical term is for victim mentality. The way I view it for myself, though, is anytime that I’m blaming others or circumstances for how I’m feeling. That’s helpful for me because I can use it as a check. So if I’m feeling stressed, I will think to myself why am I feeling stressed? Is it because of something that I’m not doing? Or is it because I think someone else isn’t doing something? Or is it because the weather is really bad today?

Those are all things that are outside of my control. So I’m therefore playing victim and saying woe is me. I can’t do the things that I wanted to do now. That’s how I view victim mentality. Certainly, I think that we all keep going into that, at some point. Even if it’s for a day, even if it’s for an hour. We all have different lengths of time that we sit in that victim mentality. 

But I’ve certainly found myself there for years where I was having trouble in some area of my life. When I really stepped back and looked at what was going on, what was happening is that I was blaming someone else for my problem. The moment that I owned that that’s what I was doing and then took personal responsibility, that’s the moment that things began to change. Whenever you really take ownership, the possibilities are endless. 

Becca: I think this is a really great segue into what has happened in this last round of Thirty More Mastermind, and how we turned it around. So I’ve spoken very candidly and openly with my last round of Thirty More Mastermind, but I haven’t really gone public with it yet. So let’s go there. 

The Thirty More Mastermind has been on a continual growth. So the tuition used to be $12,000. The first round, I think we had like six people. The second round, we had nine people. The third round, we had like 12. Then this past round, we had 16. So it’s been on a trajectory up. This round, we doubled the prices. We went from $12,000 to $25,000 for tuition. 

We knew that we were going to see a dip in students. We knew that there would be like one or two rounds where there’s a lot less students, but we had to change the price. I feel really great about changing the price. I think that I would have eventually one day become resentful had we not doubled the price just because the amount of success we were seeing in there was so insane from the students. 

So this past round when we doubled the tuition, we saw significantly less people than what we were expecting. So this round, this Tahoe round, we had four people sign up. I’m gonna tell you guys right now like complete panic when it first happened. 

Because first of all, I was going through some personal stuff. We had some things happening at Massage Strong. We had some things going on with my family. I was already in a pretty stressful state. Then to have a launch of Thirty More that was significantly less than what I was expecting. I was expecting about eight. I was expecting to go back from 16 down to about eight. 

So we went down to four. I probably spent a solid three days in victim mentality just feeling like oh shit. What have I done? Like, I can’t believe. Maybe people don’t understand. This is the most powerful mastermind ever. How do they not get it? We’ve got people coming in here that you know were making $2,000 a month, and they end their six months making $16,000 a month. How do they not re-up? That just literally doesn’t make sense to me mathematically. Just feeling all the feels guys. I’m just going to be honest. All the feels. 

But I let myself be there for probably 72 hours, I would say. Then I doubled down on getting coached. I went to my coach. I went to my mastermind. I laid it all out there, and I allowed myself to really get coached on this. I got myself out of the headspace.

I got myself to where truly I believed that having four people was one of the most beneficial things that could have possibly happened. Because now we’re getting ready to go to Tahoe. We’ve got four people signed up, and I have completely restructured the mastermind because of this. This is a product of it not going as planned. This is the best opportunity on the planet for me to change the mastermind in a way that I’ve always wanted to do it but I’ve had too much pressure on me because there’s 16 people in my group. 

Now there’s four people. The live event is completely different. We’re going to make it more of an experience as opposed to just sitting in a chair and listening to the lecture. There is going to be hikes, morning sunrise hikes. There’s going to be coaching on the beach. There’s going to be a lot more wining and dining. There’s going to be a lot more like planning and intimacy. 

So that is because it is a product of what happens that I thought was so terrible. Then on top of that, I made changes to the actual structure of the masterminds after I realized I only had four people in it. We just announced yesterday that we are disconnecting the live event from Thirty More and making the live event public. 

So that means in December, or maybe in November, we’re going to start launching the January live event open to the public for you guys to come for $3,500 and to be a part of the live event without having to be a part of the mastermind. These are all of these like genius ideas that started coming through Hell Yes Coaching and our staff when we thought we hit rock bottom. We thought that it was just a terrible launch. 

Now I’m looking back and I’m just so thankful that I didn’t allow myself to stay in victimhood for too long because what has come out of it is just this blossomed new era of Thirty More. I just know it’s going to the moon at this point.

Mark: To the moon. 

Becca: To the moon. 

Mark: Oh nice.

Becca: What’s the Ted Lasso? The hound dogs?

Mark: All right so.

Becca: I just laid my heart on the line. Do you have anything to say about that?

Mark: You did wonderful. I’m very proud of you.

Becca: What is your perspective of what has happened as Thirty More went from 16 people to four people? Like watching me go through all of the emotions, but then coming out like changing the entire mastermind?

Mark: Yeah, I think that whenever you really step back and look at life, it’s obvious that we are going to have challenges. We’re going to fall down and skin our knees. We’re going to be in car accidents. we’re going to make decisions that create results that are different than what we thought they would be. 

Knowing that those are going to happen, the best thing that we can do is be aware that whenever we fall into victim mentality or whenever we feel ourselves becoming stressed or worried or just lost in these negative emotional states to try to become aware of them as quickly as possible and then see what we can learn from them and what we can do differently. That’s what you did, right? 

You realized where you were. You realized that it was up to you to make a change. It was up to you to do something different and use that pain to drive you. But what our goal is, is to be able to do that quicker and easier. Realize Ray Dalio talks a lot about failure being better than success. Because after a failure if you have learned and reflected on it, you will catapult forward at a quicker pace than if you had not failed in the first place. 

Becca: Yeah, it’s like momentum. 

Mark: That’s right. So I think that that’s what you did. We want to continue to cultivate that in our lives and in ourselves and really make that an important part of life. If you don’t have problems then that means you’re dead. None of us want to be there. Right? Pain is mandatory, suffering is optional.

I really believe that we have to go through challenging times. We have to do things that are hard, but we don’t have to suffer. I love playing flag football. It’s extremely painful. It’s really hard. But it’s so much fun. It’s the same way when I go to the gym, or there’s a number of other activities that we all can agree are really hard to do but they’re so much fun. I think that’s how we have to view our business lives, parenting, relationships, all of it.

Becca: I think that that is a really important thing to remember. I notice with a lot of my clients, and I totally get this, but I can see it from like the helicopter view and I can see what they’re going through. It’s this fear. I mean it sounds so cliche, like fear of failure, right? But they’re so afraid of having the low launch. They’re so afraid of having an idea and it not working that they’re not as willing to just throw spaghetti against the wall. 

Think about when you first started your business. We were willing to do anything. I mean putting yard signs out. Literally telling everyone at barbecues that we could fix them and their knee pain. Just the pressure is so far down that you’re willing to do anything. So you get this momentum. 

But then once you it starts working and you’ve got some employees and all of a sudden you’re bringing in a lot of money, and maybe you’re in the public eye. Then you’re afraid to have a launch and it not work. I remember this past year I did a launch while I was, you know, I was teaching Thirty More. Then I did this launch of this program, and I had zero signups. 

My students were so, first of all, dumbfounded that there were zero signups. They couldn’t believe I had a “failed” launch. But then they came to me and they were like Becca, you just made the biggest impact on my life. Because first of all, I didn’t know that someone that could be doing million dollars in revenue a year would have a failed launch. Like I didn’t know a business owner that owned multiple companies could fail. 

That I guess I did it with grace. I failed the launch, but then I ended up, repackaging the videos and launching it in a different way. It was successful. I was told multiple times over and over that month you changed my perspective by being willing to show us what it looks like to have a completely failed launch, and you’re still going to end the year making as much money as you do. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is guys just keep throwing spaghetti against the wall. Keep doing things even when the pressure is high. Even when you have multiple employees. Even when it feels like everyone’s watching. If people weren’t so afraid to fail, they would have a lot more success. But instead, a lot of people just stay in their bubble, and they just stay small. They just kind of hope that it’s gonna land for them really well one day.

Mark: So you’ve been in business now for many years across a couple of different industries. What is a way that you feel like you’ve really grown during that time?

Becca: I mean, to be honest, it’s just a continuation of the conversation we’ve had, which is like I have really changed my victim mentality. I think that I was a victim in a lot of ways for a lot of years, especially in the very beginning. Learning how to manage people has been the craziest shit ever. Learning how to rise above all of it. 

I used to be the queen of being up in the restaurant industry or like being one of the employees. I’d be in on the drama, and I’d be in on the hating of the boss.

Mark: Complaining about management.

Becca: Complaining about management. Acting like, just having no idea what the management team was doing and what the owners were doing to provide to me everything they were providing. I just could only see myself. I could only see myself being their little worker bee, and just complaining about things. 

Then to start a business and still have that mentality, and then have it at first like towards the employees and then having to realize that that’s not going to fly and to rise above it. Then to watch now, like now watching employee, and this is pretty rare, but have an employee that’s like disgruntled or saying things or completely dismissing how much effort and work we put into giving them their job. They don’t know, and they don’t need to know. They don’t need to understand that. But it has been a massive flip of script. It’s all in ownership and maturity.

Mark: Absolutely.

Becca: Yeah. 

Mark: Yeah, I would say for me a big part of where I’ve grown is just my ability to see through stress and worry better. Now, don’t get me wrong. I still get stressed. I still get worried. It happens all the time, but it happens less often. It happens for a shorter period of time. 

Because I’m able to look through into why I’m stressed and see the bullshit in it. Right? I’m able to see wait a second. I’m worried that this what if this thing doesn’t work out? Well, first of all, many things haven’t worked out in my life, and it was no big deal. Second of all, usually everything works out great. That’s the majority of what happens. I have a really great track record at this point of just figuring it out. 

Becca: Yeah. 

Mark: So it’s almost, in our brains we have these different personalities. We aren’t just one voice. We’re ruled by a council of voices. We need to, at least for me, becoming more aware whenever the little shit voice pokes its head in, worry brain comes around and starts yapping its little mouth to say whoa. Hold on, buddy. We actually have this under control. It’s gonna be just fine. I believe that it’s essential to overcome that if we want to own more businesses or just have a more robust life in general.

Becca: Yeah, I like to play a game that has really helped me in my own mind called worst case scenario. I really position myself in what is the worst that can happen here? Like when I’m at a crossroads? Like, what is the actual worst that can happen? The actual worst that could happen is I lose two staff members. I don’t know. I’m just like making this up. 

But let’s say that I lose two staff members, how many clients is that? How much money is that? How would that affect the culture? How would it affect the other staff members? I really go there. I just really go deep into what is the worst possible scenario? 

Then what I noticed is A, the worst possible scenario usually isn’t too bad. It’s not that crazy, right? Then number two, oh, that worst possible scenario, like I could get out of it in 30 days. I could get out of it in 20 days. Here’s how I would handle it. Once you get yourself into the worst case scenario and you mentally embody it, then it’s like okay, bring it on. Like, that’s the worst thing that can happen. Let’s shoot for something better. But.

Mark: Yeah, absolutely. Tim Ferriss has a TED Talk that he gave years ago. It’s all about what he calls fear setting, which I believe may be a stoic principle. It’s exactly what you said, which is that we should really get clear on what our fears are. What is the worst possible case scenario? Then once we do that, we realize oh it’s not actually that bad. 

Becca: Yeah, that’s not bad. 

Mark: Some people will even take it as far as to wear the same clothes and just eat rice and beans for a week, every year, once a year. Because that’s gonna be what rock bottom is like. 

Becca: Yeah, I love that idea. 

Mark: Yeah. There’s something in me that craves that. Just take me down. Like, not saying that I’m actually testing the universe, but I don’t know. I just sometimes I catch myself like craving weird rock bottom. I wonder what that is in psychology? 

Mark: Yeah, it’s probably from what we talked about before that it would take the pressure off of you. If you’re starting from the bottom, where’s the pressure?

Becca: If anyone knows how to be poor or broke, it’s me. I can fast like a motherfucker. Just being challenged, I guess. But anyway, that’s the fucked up part of my brain. Thank you for being here. 

Mark: Oh, you bet. Yeah. It was a pleasure. Always.

Becca: I had fun with you. 

Mark: Oh, good. Thanks. 

Becca: Awesome. Well, by the time that people are listening to this, I think we’re gonna be sitting on a beach in Lake Tahoe. Isn’t that fun? 

Mark: Yeah, I’m excited to go. 

Becca: We’re taking both of our dads. 

Mark: That’s pretty cool. 

Becca: It is so cool. We’re taking both of our dads. I’m taking my brother, and we are just gonna have a big ole time.

Mark: Absolutely. Yeah, I’m looking forward to it. 

Becca: All right. Thanks for being on. I love you. 

Mark: Oh, I love you too. 

Becca: I love you.

Mark: See you everybody.

Becca: Bye guys.

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